Free To Play Friday – The Bill Belichick Offseason Simulator

Depending on who you ask, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick is either a brilliant, crafty, cunning gamesman, or the worst cheating scourge in NFL history.

He is also fiercely secretive, and the Patriots are just fine with that.  So what does he do in the offseason?

Well, the Bill Belichick Offseason Simulator is here to answer that question.

It is not a fun game – not really even a game.  More of a memorization task – a tool to make you a better NFL head coach.  You’ll sleep in to 4:50AM, go to a hardware store, and adjust your office chair.  If you play it right, you’ll sink a thousand-year old flotilla of enemy ships and return to your home planet, because we all know Belichick isn’t of this world.  Short sleeve hoodies abound, since NFL’s offseason gets pretty warm and you’ll need to air out your arms.

The Bill Belichick Offseason Simulator can be played here.  A side note – I once beat the game and got the true ending in 4 minutes.  This is a highly unusual event, and in no way should you try to best me.


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Author: James View all posts by
Dangerously fat. Twitter: @hypersaline